As many of you know, my 1.5 year old daughter was hospitalized for RSV and on oxygen support the first week of winter break. My husband got her virus on Christmas Eve and was forced to spend the rest of the week at home trying to recover. Needless to say, this was a very trying time for me and my family. Living in the hospital for a week, self care goes out the window and my body was in a constant state of fight, which lasted 2.5 weeks. On Saturday I was able to sit in my bathtub for 30 minutes and my state of fight started to release. My husband and baby were 90% better and our house was functional and operating (we had food, holiday gear was put away, laundry done, etc). There was nothing left that I needed to hold up or together and I could finally let go. When I am in a constant state of fight, I don’t get to feel my emotions because my body is too busy doing and taking care of everyone else. So when my fight mode released I could feel the heaviness and sadness of those 2.5 weeks. I didn’t fully get a chance to sit with those emotions because personal time doesn’t really exist when you have a child but there were definitely sitting on the surface.
Monday morning when I am getting ready for work, I could feel the heavy presence of these emotions. I know that I will need to give them their overdue space but the present moment called from me to get to work. Even though my husband would describe Bailey’s hospitalization as a nightmare, there is also a lot of gratitude. We are so thankful that everybody is okay and doing well; that my dad and mom stepped up in huge ways and I will always be eternally grateful for them, the hospital staff was amazing and gave Bailey excellent care and so much more. Although those two weeks were traumatic and I have unacknowledge emotions to meet, I didn’t want those two things to be the face I put forward Monday morning going back to work. I don’t ever want to present myself as a victim. We don’t always have control over the events that happen in our life, but we do get to choose our emotions and reactions to those events.
Even though I was feeling weighed down, I put my best face forward. Monday morning I took the time to blow dry my hair using the round brush (something I rarely do because it takes forever!). The past 2.5 weeks had left me looking and feeling rough. I physically wasn’t taking care of myself and my sleep was constantly interrupted. All the work I had done to feel beautiful again went out the window. So Monday morning I decided to take the time to put my best face forward even though I wasn’t feeling that way. I was going to dress for the way I wanted to move in the world; strong, powerful, beautiful. Even though I wasn’t feeling that way in the moment, I know that if I keep physically showing up that way, eventually I will mentally show up that way as well.
So put your best foot forward, especially when you aren’t feeling it and eventually how you want to show up in the world will become your reality.
Registration for Spring 2020 classes ends Sunday at midnight. Commit to putting your best foot forward and sign up before the deadline.
Class Information:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JJKItYboXxlmEg7V4cgV7IGo0qEI5MAoG0UUaqGHJwA/edit?usp=sharing
Registration Link: https://forms.gle/pn1RGAsMpoLHostq8
